Ervan’s Weltanschauung

Well, another chapter closed in my life. This is my longest relationship. 12 years altogether as I bid farewell to Petronas. July 1994 - April 2006. Yes, twelve long years in PETRONAS, first as a scholar, then as an employee. Now, I am no longer one.

My colleagues gave me a farewell on Monday. I know they going to miss me. The one who always bring laughter and cheerfulness to the department. The one who can always figure out a solution to any mess presented to him. The one who always look at the bright side of things. The one who shares the blame when things go wrong. The one who always protect them whatever the situation.

Indeed, they would do the same to me, and indeed they have done it many times. Each and every one of them.

Back in December, I received an offer from an European company whom I shall not name, yet. It was a great Christmas day present. They offered me the right package, so to speak. However, until today, I am not sure how the rumours of me leaving leaked out in PETRONAS. Although, a friend of mine pointed out that it is not me leaving PETRONAS, but me leaving the current position to somewhere else, probably not within Crude Oil Group, but still within PETRONAS. My manager heard of it, and told me, that I should inform her if I was to leave. Today, I am sure she expected me to move somewhere else within the company, but the letter of resignation, shocked her, and well, she was well stressed out over it. I should know, you should see the number of chocolate bars she ate as she read, and re read the letter.

Monday was my last day. And it is sad to leave such great colleagues. They gave me a really cool card. And they kept on telling me to give a speech which I, well, did give. But I guess, the greatest impact was from my farewell email to each and everyone I worked with.

Thanks for the memories. I may no longer on the same path, but we are still friends for life.

It’s time for us to accept the truth. There is no such thing as a good Starbucks outlet in Malaysia.

Well, there was one, at Carrefour Subang Jaya. The barristas know me by name, and you feel at home there. I was there recently, after a long hiatus, and it’s not like what it used to be. I miss the former Starbucks barristas at Carrefour SJ, they really know how to treat the customers. Back then, it was not a cafe, but it became a joint to hang out. Even the barristas join me and my friends for chit chats.

Just like my favourite Starbucks joint at Issaquah, or in any part of Seattle.

When I was in Seattle, the barristas at any Starbucks treat customers like friends. They try to make conversations with you. Easy for them, even though I am not a regular because of my non-White look. And they had fun trying to figure out where I was from. Things were a lil complicated then, because I was a Malaysian living in London. So when I told them I was from London, some would ask if I was really from London. That’s when I mention the word Malaysia. Unfortunately, not many know where it is, and I had fun teasing them that I can actually get a Cappucino off them, for free.
But I am digressing. However, I finally found a Starbucks worth going to. The Starbucks is at Plaza Damas, and it had the perfect ambiance. As I ordered my latte, the barrista asked about my day, and I told him of my mad rush from KLCC to Bangsar to Plaza Damas on that day. And we had a quick chat, and he even gave me an extra shot of expresso. As I sat down with my latte, my friend who works at Plaza Damas agree with me that the Starbucks at Plaza Damas is his favourite. I certainly agree to that statement. For that moment, I thought I was at a Starbucks, in Seattle.

Today, I went to another Starbucks to do some work. It is my other Starbucks joint at Jaya Supermarket. The one in Plaza Damas wins hands down, and I believe I will be spending more time at Plaza Damas Starbucks more than other Starbucks….

Finally found THE Starbucks to go in Malaysia….

Worried? Why am I worried for Malaysia? Isn’t Malaysia famous for it’s Malaysia Boleh, and the fact Malaysians can do a lot of things that others can? In fact, Malaysia is so boleh (capable) that we can do things far better than others can do…

However, I am worried. And I can justify my worry.

I have always known University Malaya since I was born. It’s the same association I had with Bukit Bintang Boys School. I still remember when I was still a small boy, I walked along the corridors of Bukit Bintang Boys School. 10 years later, I walked down the corridors, as a proud member of BBBS. The same for UM, I knew the UM area very well. When I had a chat with our India country manager, I know all the places that he mentioned and can even tell him what’s the new building that was built recently to replace those places. It was enough, enough for me to convince him to go back to UM one more time.

That’s when I noticed, the difference of the graduates produced by UM in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and even the new millennium. I would say it’s unfair to say this, but the 70s are a better lot. I do not know how to put it, but I might be fooled by the years of experience that the 70s graduate have compared to the recent ones…..But indeed, something else might have influenced it. And that, can be pointed to AUKU. An Act ratified by politicians in order to secure their powers.

There is still hope. Students, and graduates who strive for the betterment of the society. But alas, things happen that politicise matters, and the same students and graduates are disillusioned over it all.

But the apathy is there. And I still see it. The apathy that is present since my days as a student in UK. The difference between local grads and foreign grads. But one thing for sure, the shortsightedness of yesterdays’ politicians is affecting the current and future generations of Malaysians.

And of course the racial polarisation. I dare say it is worse now than before. It is indeed sad. Really really sad. Too many wrong things in Malaysia. And things happen due to economic interests. And with such a small economic pie, people fight like there’s no tomorrow. It might take one brave soul to change all that. But will that person show up?

This is not a job for one person. It is a job for each and every Malaysians. And that’s where it fails.

Remember, remember the Fifth of November. The gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

A symbol is just that, a symbol. A building is just that, a building. Men do not last an eternity. Monuments do not last till the end of time. Only ideas do. Ideals. And one should always remember those who were brave enough to stood up in the face of injustice. Not all of them succeed, but the one person I admire, Gandhi. He understood it well. He did not leave anything, except for his ideas, and yet, for many, he is the Mahatma…

Too bad some could not see beyond the symbol, monument or building, and need these temporary solutions to show off his legacy. Indeed V is right, you can’t kill ideas. For it will live on, years after the death of the founder. After all, didn’t the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, for those who believe in him, they will surely be lost, and for those who believe in Islam and Allah, they will never be astray.

Indeed, V for Vendetta is one movie that totally had me engrossed. Funny how it is run true to life. in fact it pokes fun on the present US President. And indeed how a fascist government work, which sadly is reflected in the many Governments of the world. People should not be afraid of the Government, instead the Government should be afraid of the people as the people are the one who elected them into power.

But that’s the thing, a Government can always stay in power provided they do not touch the rice bowl of the people. Once the people notice that their rice bowl is compromised, that’s when trouble will begin. That’s what happened in Indonesia. A Government who can keep the people happy can always do what they want, even if it is morally wrong. Indeed, you can also see this happening in organisations.

Once you do something wrong, and people close one eye, that’s a passport for the person to do more wrongs. And it take a concerted effort to put right on what is wrong. And that’s what V did. Cleverly, and with proper planning, using the famous November the 5th date, otherwise known as Guy Fawkes day, as the background.

And V is right, we can start afresh by demolishing our own achilles heel, the symbol that has always put us in fear, the symbol of tyranny, and well, like in Star Wars, by destroying the Death Star, it became a new beginning in the fight against tyranny…

Believe me, V for Vendetta is a must watch movie….

Woah, it has been a hell of a weekend. Saturday was all cool, spent the time at the hotel with great colleagues. Sunday was all hot, and sweaty, time spent at the Sepang International Circuit. And Sunday ended with an excellent buffet dinner at Jogoya together with my colleagues.

The weekend is also my second last weekend in the present company. The F1, the last event in my career with the present company. I have made new friends, renewed old friendships, and basically, am leaving on a good slate. The only constant is change. I kept on reminding myself on that.

Fisichella won the Sepang F1. A few years ago, he was another driver with the Sauber PETRONAS team. On the weekend, he is a winner of Sepang F1, driving his best race with the Renault team. I am sure, he will have many more fond memories of Sepang International Circuit. Like I said, he was with Sauber PETRONAS. And even the Sauber PETRONAS team was changed to BMW Sauber.

To my colleagues who worked together with me throughout the weekend. Thank you for putting up with my antics. I know you guys gonna miss me, because, I am sure will. And really enjoyed the time together… like I said, you guys will know where to find me…

You know the one modern invention that is the traffic light. Designed to help traffic flow, and yet is the source of many traffic jams in any jam packed city. Green means go, yellow is to warn motorists to slow down, and red means stop. Or in some case, green means go, yellow to speed up to beat the red light, and well, in some parts of the world, red does not mean a thing!

Today, it became like a traffic light for me.

It was green all the way for me prior to today, before turning to yellow last night, and red the whole of today, until till about 6 pm. It all started when my friend Skab came down from Bintulu on Wednesday night. We had a quick chat, and he asked whether I am sure of my decision when everything is going my way. That’s when the traffic light turned yellow, and a few hours after that, it turned red. I began pondering over my decision, and reevaluate my current position.

This morning, over breakfast, the question was asked again by Skab. He became some sort of Devil’s advocate to me. Plenty of probing, and questions were asked in an effort to make me withdraw my decision. One hour later, Skab realised that instead of me withdrawing from my decision, I actually managed to convince him to join me.

The traffic light turned green the later part of the day. I was at my favourite cookie joint in KLCC. I can be considered as a regular there that all the staff knows my face, and remembers me well for a very embarassing incident. Skab joined me at the cookie joint, and we had a good chat with one of the owners.

We came away from the conversation impressed with her and her friends for opening up the cookie joint. From our conversation, I can feel the pride, and passion in her effort in making the place a success. As we left the place, I felt good (not because of the Double Decker Dream), but somehow, that chance conversation has helped in switching the traffic light from red to green, and clearing up the path for the road ahead.

Even Skab later told me, that no matter what I do, I will always give my best, and make the best out of it. And as we parted ways, I can see that the traffic light, is green all the way..

Until Jalan 222 of course… (lousy jam!)

Good friends. They are not only the one who blindly support you, but also those who ensure that you won’t fall, hard by being the Devil’s advocate.

Let me tell you a story. Of a person with no university education, and worked while studying. Joined Carrefour in 1996, and became the Managing Director of Carrefour in Singapore in 2006. One would expect this person to be a Chinese Singaporean.

No, the person is Shafie Shamsuddin. A Malay Singaporean.

On Friday, Malaysians had a demonstration at KLCC. And this picture caught my eyes.

Cute eh? But, that’s the stark difference of a person who knows his limits and try to change his life, and those who like to blame others for whatever happen to his or her life. In this case, blaming the Government. And of course, “ab”using his or her own kids by teaching them hatred. I wont be surprise we will have a generation who will always blame someone else but themselves for their misery.

Bad public transport in Malaysia? Like it or not, we played a part in it. How many of you have vandalised the buses? Or saw someone who vandalised and did not do anything to stop it? So, if there is no effort from your part, no wonder lah our buses, and even LRT is in the state of disrepair.

And the amount of petrol wasted everyday on the roads. Of course, if you enjoy tailgaiting, and revving your car, of course lah you will burn fuel. Not properly maintaining your car, like to jump queue (that burns up more fuel as you try to overtake), and driving more than 110 kph which obviously burn more fuel. Remember, if you don’t maintain your car, and even if you do not take care of your exhaust pipe, you’ll burn more fuel.

Let’s face it, you can’t always depend on the Government for everything. Mr Shafie knows that he can’t get any favours from the Singaporean Government, but that did not stop him from achieving. It’s time we stop the rut and no longer rely on the Government, and of course our beloved politicians.

Things we can do:

1. Actually pay for our children’s education. Let’s face it, by getting scholarships from the Govt, or GLCs, we are making ourselves indebted. And that’s how Malaysia can get cheap labours, by tying up all the bright minds for a long bond with the respective agencies that dish out scholarships. “Ketuanan Melayu” my foot, it is just a new way of “Kehambaan Melayu”.

2. If we can’t abolish AUKU, then we can always go outside of Malaysia for education. No need to go to UK or US. Europe will do, education is free, just have to pay for expenses. And I dare say that we Malaysians need a more international flavour to our way of life and not just stay UK or US. Even Indonesia is a good place for education. As long you don’t sign up for the JI classes lah. And the best education is still University of Life. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates did not complete their university…

And about the petrol price increase? Don’t go for all those stupid rallies and pickets and demonstration. The best way to do so, is to hit where it hurt the most. I don’t fill it up to full tank anymore. And any traders that charge more than 5 % extra, heck, even a 1 sen increase, I will no longer frequent them. The glass of teh tarik that is not even one litre and yet they try to charge an extra 30 sen? Heh.

I’ve been suffering long enough with KLCC with their high rental charges that I rather eat at McDonalds, whose price is the same in KLCC, or eat at Wisma Central. And I got some exercise too. Or what’s been happening lately, people been buying me lunchs
Less use of oil is better for us in the long run. I just pray a mad scientist will find a cheaper, efficient and environmentally friendly fuel soon….

I am now into the final month of my three months’ notice. For those who are still clueless, or do not know, I will be leaving my present company for greener pastures. It’s been a long association with the present company, and like any long relationships, it is hard to end it.

And I do think the three months notice is one way for the employer to try and persuade you to stay by reminding you of the good old times that you have. And that’s what actually happened, when people over coffee/lunch/dinner will always remind me of the things I did that will forever etched in their minds.

Yes, that one day, while checking out the KL Convention Centre, and I accidently tripped on some wires, and the lights in one of the room went out. Or the long sideway stare from the big boss when I did something wrong which will always evened out when I get a pat on the back for a job well done.

Those are only that. Memories. It was a good thing that I bump to a friend of mine who left the present company. And he told me, I might regret it if I do not leave. And he is right. Like in Jonathan Larson’s Rent, forget regret or life is yours to miss.

Anyway, it’s been a mixed reaction to the news of my resignation. Some expressed shock in hearing me leaving. Some supportive, even my manager. But, me leaving is giving headaches for HR, as now, they realise that they can’t just put anyone to replace me. And I even gave more headaches for my customers who has grown accustomed working with me.

But change is inevitable. They just got live with it as I bid adieau and pursue my own dreams.

“Look I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I’m used to relying on intelect
But I try to open up to what I don’t know
Because reason says I should die three years ago
No other road, no other way, no day but today…”

“Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare”

Been watching the Rent DVD I got recently. And been listening to the Rent CD I have.
A great musical to watch live, on DVD, and of course, to listen on the way to the office….

Story about a group of friends on friendship, hope, support, and love. The movie version did not disappoint me. In fact, it relived the memory of watching Rent in London 7 years ago. And the song that most will definitely remember or heard of, “Seasons of Love”.

Thank you Jonathan Larson, and may you rest in peace.